Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
