i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
