my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
