Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
