If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He felt like a one man threesome
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
