Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
