I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
