I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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