remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
