Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
