just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
