Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
