Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
