Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize