Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
