I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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