Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
