I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
