why didn't you poke me back
id be glad to
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
