Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What a dumb baby whore.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If I die, sorry about rent.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
