yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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