Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
