The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
