I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
