Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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