I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
