Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
