I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
