Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
