you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
