I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
