i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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