I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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