just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
