i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
