You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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