Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize