dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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