weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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