So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize