How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
