This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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