How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
