Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Two words: blizzard sex
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
