he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
