i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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