Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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