Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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