It's like God shit irony all over that family
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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