At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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