The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
