Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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