its not stalking. its research.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
