PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
