Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
