they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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