You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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