Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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