Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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