I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
