PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
love makes seman taste better
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
