Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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