I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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