What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
