How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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