i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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