It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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