chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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