How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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