You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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