i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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