That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
