Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
