an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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