My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
