I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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